I was about to respond to Louisruckk post until I found out it was old and seemed deserted. So I decided to just post here and ask for opinions.
You’re in for a battle Louisruckk! When I became the pca for my parents, I was given permission to take over the finances. The first thing I did was see if there was enough money to prevent utility disconnects (lights, home landline, etc.) Guess what? They did.
Then when I went in to pay on their life insurance, the lady at front desk told me the policies had been cancelled due to non-payment on loans. Every single policy had loans and everyone said they had no idea. Those loans had to be brought current before the policies could be reinstated.
I have those two mentioned things under control now.
But guess what? That did not prevent family from taking out large business loans with the help of my father, personal loans to pay for their vehicles they have falling behind on with the help of my father, other personal loans for reasons I could not discover with the help of my father, big riding lawn mowers with the help of my father. Borrowing from close friends of my father with the help of my father to help them with personal issues.
Dad even mentioned sister trying to get them to put up their home to bail son out of jail. Even after I paid out all expenses and place money in their pocket for grocery or whatever they desire, I can come the following week and they're crying broke. Oh, I had to help so and so because....
Adult protection was even called in and learned of people living in the home and not contributing and nothing was done. They finally moved out. APS found my sister locking rooms in our parent’s home claiming she pays rent on those rooms. Not one person can tell who gets the rent money, no receipts could be produced, and once again nothing was done.
Now that I may step completely aside as part of the caregiver team (instead of just working a few days), I am completely torn about handing the finances over to my sister.
My thought is to continue handling the first two, and then give balance to my parents and whatever else happens just happens. But then what if hospice calls with mom needing something and the money is gone?
Second thought, just hand it all over and whatever happens, happens. Still I can’t see me getting past worrying.
They have nothing to fall back on if anything happens. So I usually make that monthly income last the month out.
Right now I have not filed for my unemployment giving my employer time to find a replacement and they also worry about bringing in yet another new person since mom has dementia and other medical issues.
What would you do?
That is what I would do and the fees would be paid for out of the parents money. Then I would step away. I cannot know about your family relationships but for me they don't sound worth my time trying to save. I am a tough cookie. I don't stand abusive behavior from anyone, and certainly not from family.
You asked what I would do, so that is it. I am POA for my brother, and his life is organized and relatively simple. But I will tell you that even given that, and the good man he is, this changes life and relationships and is a terrible burden. I am wishing you so much luck moving forward and hope you will update us on what you do.
I have been POA of both my father and my cousin. Their checking accounts were in both our names and I took care of paying all their bills and so on. There was never an issue, of coarse, I only spent their money on them, not me or anyone else. They had total and complete trust in me. I was glad to assist them in their time of need. Best of luck to you!
I don't wish to continue with PCA unless it would be with a client living solo or no more than one other person in the home. Being at my parents’ home has caused me to feel this way.
Dad has already called three times. One saying he didn't want me to quit my job just make some changes. Then another asking if I was still taking him to his out of town appointment next month. I told him can't do without a job and if on a new job, he will have to make other arrangements.
Then yesterday he called begging me to drive down and teach him how to setup his meds. Sister will not touch and when he tries to do it on his own, it is pretty bad. I worry he will overdose/hurt himself.
I feel bad about this entire mess.