I am a caregiver for a 70 year old woman who had a stroke 9 years ago. She struggles with apahsia, right side hemi-paralysis, memory and emotional regulation.She used to quilt prior to her stroke and just started using the sewing machine a week ago!!! But over the years she has bought a ton of fabric. I have already told her I won't support her buying more because of her finances - she can't afford it and I know she won't use it all or even 1/5th of what she has. She gets really excited about things very easily which is adorable but also a little unhinged at times and now she wants more fabric but we have yet to finish a project. Is it okay for me to tell her I won't help her buy more fabric? Keep in mind, her husband has health issues as well and has co-pays he is struggling to pay, she needs an updated set of glasses which insurance won't pay, her dog might be pregnant and she needs different kitty litter because one of her cats is urinating in the front entry way. Please advise. I am very supporitive of her overall - I've researched and integrated an AAC device (but she won't pay the out of pocket cost for a speech therapist evaluation to keep it), I've helped her through 2 broken bones because she's been too stubborn to use her cane, I work with her 5 days a week because she doesn't want anyone else and managed to get more hours from the Department of Human Services. But I feel it's important not to give in to her every whim (like a 3rd caramal frappe!!!!). I realize some of the impulse decision making is probably due to her stroke, but does that mean I say yes to whatever she wants?
Not a family member and not a POA?
This is something for you to discuss with whomever IS the POA and family member in charge of all caregiving decisions.
It is not within your job description to make decisions about what this woman does and doesn't spend her money on.
You can simply report to family that you are a bit concerned over her purchases of increasing amounts of material when she has already so much of it.
That's it.
Good luck. Remember, you are there to do your caregiving duties and to report unusual happenstances to family or to your superiors. I wish you the best. How lovely that this lady, with her deficits, is still so invested and excited by her hobby.
Re: fabric, if you chose to do so, maybe hide a bunch of it for a while, and then pull it out - voila! - when she wants new? I’m sure she’ll forget about the hidden fabric. It will be like shopping but it’s already there.
I do this with my puppy who gets bored w/toys in one day. A person isn’t a puppy of course but rotating objects does seem to work.
Best to you!
If they have a caseworker through social services or Medicaid Elder Waiver program and no PoA then I would alert this person to her being a fall risk and not recognizing or caring about over spending. These are red flags for future problems that you won't be able to prevent or fix.
In the time being, you use distraction or redirection to get her off the topic. Or, you just pretend you got a phone call and walk out the room and see if she forgets that she was thinking about buying more fabric.
Also: a cat peeing outside their box can also mean it has an infection or sickness, or the box is not getting cleaned enough daily. If they need to pay a vet and now also maybe have a pregnant dog but can barely pay their medical co-pays... keeping pets won't be sustainable.
Do an OpShop tour, looking at the contents with quilting in mind, not re-using as-is. Full size bed quilt covers (particularly children’s single bed ones) provide lots of patterned fabric, dirt cheap. In fact you could quilt onto them, which replaces more of the expensive backing. You could then look through her own stock of fabric to find bits to use to complement the backing. Sell her on ‘random’, not the quilts that need everything to be a repeated pattern.
You might have quite a lot of fun with this. I have a quilter friend, and I know that if you go the ‘modern’ way, it is a very very expensive hobby. My judgement is that it’s cutting perfectly good fabric into small bits and then stitching it back together. That’s not ‘traditional’!
PS I’m in the process of sorting out clothing following a move. I decided to cut the black lace out of reject knickers where the elastic had gone, and I am surprised by the size of the roll of lace pieces I am building up. I reckon that black lace scraps ‘quilted’ onto a colored backing would look quite good. There are lots of interesting cheap options here!