Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You deal with it by moving on with your life far away from the abuse and dysfunction. And along with getting some therapy, you make sure that you make a conscious choice to not pass along to your family the dysfunction you were raised in. And thank God that you at least had a father that loved you. In time you will hopefully realize that no inheritance is worth putting up with all the abuse and dysfunction, and down right bull****, that your mother is putting you through. It will all be ok, don't worry. your mom will eventually reap what she has sown.
I can only echo AlvaDeer. You can not make anyone love you. You can change how you react to them. the best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation if at all possible. You do not need to have any contact with them. And for your own self preservation it is best that you don't. If they decide that they want a relationship once again it is up to you to decide to accept it or not, but be prepared for the same type of treatment if they fully have not understood that what they did hurt you. If you have a good relationship with your brother that's fine. When your mom dies you can contest any will she leaves if you so wish. I strongly suggest that you see a counselor or a therapist if you think you need it, do not think this is your fault, or do not feel "guilty". It is not your fault that your mom is an addict just know that you can not change her.
I am quite sure that by now you are painfully aware that we cannot change anyone else’s behavior. Please allow yourself to believe that we can absolutely change our own behavior by reacting suitably in matters such as this.
I will address your last sentence, “I have always tried to love her!” We become confused about our emotions regarding love. Many of us have often felt that if we give all of our love to others, they will receive our love and it will be returned with love, appreciation and respect. This isn’t always true, no matter how much love we give to them.
It’s horrible to find ourselves caught in a situation where everything is one sided. You gave until it hurt. Love was not returned.
Often times we are too close to the situation to see things clearly. A therapist will provide an objective assessment which hopefully will lead you to gain a healthy perspective on your situation regarding a dysfunctional relationship with your mom.
We can love people as family members but absolutely hate their outlook on life.
We don’t even have to remain in their lives. I know this is hard for some people, they can’t bring themselves to go ‘no contact.’ I can tell you that most people who have gone no contact for good reasons have not regretted it.
In the end, only you can decide what to do. Keep an open mind. Let go of what you can’t change. It’s futile to live in misery. You deserve better. Seek joy in other ways. You will soon find out what really matters in your life. It just may surprise you, that the things you let go of were not the most important after all.
Just leave her alone. You cannot change this type of behavior. I know it’s difficult to want to “fix” the situation, but you can’t. As others have mentioned, please find an experienced counselor to help you work through this. No one should be treated like this.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In time you will hopefully realize that no inheritance is worth putting up with all the abuse and dysfunction, and down right bull****, that your mother is putting you through.
It will all be ok, don't worry. your mom will eventually reap what she has sown.
You can not make anyone love you.
You can change how you react to them.
the best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation if at all possible.
You do not need to have any contact with them. And for your own self preservation it is best that you don't.
If they decide that they want a relationship once again it is up to you to decide to accept it or not, but be prepared for the same type of treatment if they fully have not understood that what they did hurt you.
If you have a good relationship with your brother that's fine.
When your mom dies you can contest any will she leaves if you so wish.
I strongly suggest that you see a counselor or a therapist if you think you need it, do not think this is your fault, or do not feel "guilty". It is not your fault that your mom is an addict just know that you can not change her.
I will address your last sentence, “I have always tried to love her!” We become confused about our emotions regarding love. Many of us have often felt that if we give all of our love to others, they will receive our love and it will be returned with love, appreciation and respect. This isn’t always true, no matter how much love we give to them.
It’s horrible to find ourselves caught in a situation where everything is one sided. You gave until it hurt. Love was not returned.
Often times we are too close to the situation to see things clearly. A therapist will provide an objective assessment which hopefully will lead you to gain a healthy perspective on your situation regarding a dysfunctional relationship with your mom.
We can love people as family members but absolutely hate their outlook on life.
We don’t even have to remain in their lives. I know this is hard for some people, they can’t bring themselves to go ‘no contact.’ I can tell you that most people who have gone no contact for good reasons have not regretted it.
In the end, only you can decide what to do. Keep an open mind. Let go of what you can’t change. It’s futile to live in misery. You deserve better. Seek joy in other ways. You will soon find out what really matters in your life. It just may surprise you, that the things you let go of were not the most important after all.