When the card was being renewed, he said he would mail a new one. It never arrived. I followed up today to ask for reimbursement for everything I had to put on my own card this last month, as well as see when the new card would arrive.
My brother announced he changed his mind. That going forward I need to put my dad’s expenses on my credit card and make requests to him for reimbursement.
I have many solid reasons and bottom line, I don’t want my dad’s expenses on my credit card.
As medical POA, do I have right to a credit card in my dad’s name to pay for his care needs - groceries, prescriptions, medical supplies (briefs, barrier cream, wipes, gloves etc)?
PS There has been no issue with me using the card in the past. I am very careful with my dad’s money. It was once the card needed to be renewed, he made this decision.
It's possible your brother had a consult with an elder law attorney who advised him to change the arrangement... If you say it shouldn't be a trust issue based on your faithful use of his card in the past, then you will need to press him for the reason why he changed his mind and that it is a hardship to carry the balance and wait for reimbursement.
What if your brother gave you a pre-paid card from your Dad's funds and then you submitted the receipts every month? Or he put funds in your Dad's amazon.com account for you to make purchases (which would then have record of the invoices in that account)? Maybe offer some creative alternative ways to deal with this issue. What is permitted may vary by state PoA rules and this is a global forum.
…And I really don’t trust him.
I would also add that I have never heard a positive story about splitting POA duties or having two POA's. Every time it has ended with family relationships being destroyed, barriers in being able to provide the care necessary or financial ruin. Unless there are clear directions BEFORE needed, I would never agree to sharing/splitting of these types of duties.
1) He makes you an authorized user on your father's credit card and you use it while he pays the bill.
2) He all of the shopping for anything your father needs himself. Otherwise dad will be doing without.
3) You bring your father to a lawyer and have his POA changed over to you. It does not make sense to have one sibling be the medical POA and one be the financial POA. All that does is cause unnecessary complications.
Most medical appointments you can pay on line, there is no need for payment at the office.
Tell your brother that all supplies then have to be ordered on line and delivered.
He can order groceries and have them delivered as well.
He will soon realize that doing this will cost him more time and m ore money.
His other option would be to supply you with a set amount of money each month for the expenses.
I would also not want the charges put on my credit card when there is no assurance that the monies will be promptly paid back. The potential of you getting charged interest if you can not pay off the full amount will come out of your pocket not brother or dad's.
Or take dad to a lawyer and have the POA changed.
You and brother neither one are understanding how POA works. It works by having your name on the checking account as POA and writing checks and keeping meticulous records of every cent spent.
Make a list and give to the financial POA as to what is needed if you are the caregiver.
If you cannot get the supplies you need then quit the job.
Having one person as medical POA and one as financial POA is at the beginning of all this very poor decision making.
I recommend you and brother attend an elder law attorney at one to begin to understand how to manage as a POA. It is, especially for the financial POA, a legal fiduciary duty you cannot do wrong, and currently it IS being done wrong. An elder no longer competent should NOT have a credit card.
So the OP's brother can not only make himself an authorized user on all accounts, he can make the OP an authorized user as well and he should.
I set up a very basic "petty cash" bank account and used that for day to day bits and pieces like manicures for her. Then I just sent the monthly statement. Would something like that suit you?
POAs on power trips are extremely trying, but. Since he hasn't provided you with a reason he probably hasn't got one and he'd enjoy a battle over this much more than you would. It isn't worth it so avoid it if you can.
Let your brother use his credit card if that is the way he wants to roll.
Everything can be ordered on line and shipped to where your father is.