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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Your Nana is angry and afraid. I read your profile and you said your grandmother has dementia. That is an important point to include in your post here. If your Nana has dementia, there may be little that you can say to her about outbursts. It won't stick because her mind can't hold on to it. Don't argue with Nana, it only makes it worse. Just do your best to be kind to her and let her know you love her.
Your mom, on the other hand, can understand that you support her decision. Don't bad mouth Nana to her. She doesn't hate her mom, she just can't cope with the grief and stress of taking care of her. Tell your mom how much you love and respect her for all she has done for your Grandmother. Tell her that you are so happy that she has stopped being the primary care taker for Nana because you want her to have some happiness and health in her life. You want her to be around for many years to come. Be with your mom and just let her talk about how she feels. Kindly remind her that Nana doesn't really mean what she is saying. It is the disease talking.
Another thing to remember is that your Grandmother is getting professional help. There is a staff. No one works 24 hours shifts like your mom did. In time your Nana may adjust.
Remind your mom that this was a difficult decision, but one that had to be made. I'm assuming that your Nana went to a nursing home and not assisted living. I could be wrong, but at her age and with dementia that just seems likely.
Take care. I hope my comments were helpful. Please give your mom and big hug for me and tell her I feel her grief. She did the right thing.
Cattails said it all - I'm just seconding what she said. Support your mom, try to understand Nana and continue telling your mom that she did the right thing for Nana. Your mom is still a caregiver - she just got help. Take care, Carol
CATTAILS: Thanks so much for your response. My nana did indeed go into Assisted Living and not a nursing home...her dementia is very mild at this point. Our biggest struggle is the fact that my mom, many many years ago, made a grandious statement that her parents would NEVER go into a nursing home...so my mom is struggling with "I'm a failure as a daughter" syndrome. I kept trying to tell my mom that Nana is can't see all that she has gained from the move because she can only focus on what she has lost. Thanks again for your kind words...I am hoping a little time will quiet some of the turmoil and hurt feelings.
Lherndon: There are so many caregivers on this site who struggle with that very same statement. Saying something and living with the reality of it are two very different things. Keep supporting your mom and visit Nana as much as you can.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your mom, on the other hand, can understand that you support her decision. Don't bad mouth Nana to her. She doesn't hate her mom, she just can't cope with the grief and stress of taking care of her. Tell your mom how much you love and respect her for all she has done for your Grandmother. Tell her that you are so happy that she has stopped being the primary care taker for Nana because you want her to have some happiness and health in her life. You want her to be around for many years to come. Be with your mom and just let her talk about how she feels. Kindly remind her that Nana doesn't really mean what she is saying. It is the disease talking.
Another thing to remember is that your Grandmother is getting professional help. There is a staff. No one works 24 hours shifts like your mom did. In time your Nana may adjust.
Remind your mom that this was a difficult decision, but one that had to be made. I'm assuming that your Nana went to a nursing home and not assisted living. I could be wrong, but at her age and with dementia that just seems likely.
Take care. I hope my comments were helpful. Please give your mom and big hug for me and tell her I feel her grief. She did the right thing.
Take care,
Carol