My 92 year old mom passed away at home this Wednesday early am after a long battle with dementia. She had lost significant weight in the last year. The last 36 hours she was asleep. Fifteen minutes before she died she opened her eyes. Luckily the night aide woke me and her other beloved aide up and we gave her morphine and comforted her as she passed. She just looked so scared which really broke my heart. Eyes open no words.
Does anyone know if when someone’s eyes open like this if it is the body shutting down or if they are aware?
I know she’s at peace now but it’s so painful thinking she might have been scared.
I agree with the others that this is a physiological action. In Mom's case, I knew she would pass at any moment from watching her oximeter. At one point, my sister cried out, "Look at her face!"
Mom's head slightly tilted back, chin forward, as if she were reaching to someone. Her face glowed--GLOWED! I've never witnessed nor heard of such a thing. I believe she was seeing the White Light and could see her beloved family members. The glow passed and her head moved back to its original position. Fifteen minutes later, it happened again. I believe that's when her soul departed and it took her body within a half hour to catch up.
At the moment we knew her body had passed, we girls had a crescendo of emotion, of course. About 30 seconds later, Mom gave this massive and noisy inhalation. Scared us all to death. It was horrible. Then no breathing. A few moments later, it happened again. Then, that was all.
The body shutting down will do all sorts of things that can be traumatic to witness. I have no doubt your mother's eyes opening is one of them.
For another thought, have you ever tried to nap or mediate with your eyes closed? It takes effort to keep them closed. Gave me a small headache. Now, I use a slumber mask to meditate so I let my eyelids rest. They don't close; they lift. I have no doubt as the body relaxes it's quite possible the lids will lift. There's no need to put the energy in keeping them closed.
My condolences on your loss. Peace to you, Jabnyc.
Or a person may appear very peaceful...or seem to smile....
What we may see as frightened may be merely the neurochemistry of the body failing, with resultant muscle changes including twitches or grimaces.
It's human to wish you could know for certain...but so much of the dying process (physiologically) is still a mystery to the medical world. Can't really be monitored intensely or use a clinical trial to test a treatment...thought experienced hospice programs usually have a vast collective knowledge of the usual and the unusual.
If this really bothers you, perhaps you could call the hospice office and ask to speak to the social worker or chaplain who was on the team. Those team members can talk to MD/nurse/etc. and get some answers to your questions, or determine who on the team feels most able to call you to talk about your mom's passing. Often done, for an out of town family. member, or a sudden hospice death. Take care.
https://www.joincake.com/blog/why-do-peoples-eyes-open-before-death/
I personally feel that a person's soul has already transitioned to heaven/the other side BEFORE their body takes its last breath. What happens to the physical body during the death process is just an organic thing; it's the human vessel shutting down and we witness that distressing process while the soul of the person we love is at perfect peace already, afraid of nothing, bathed in the light of pure love.
Don't remember your dear mom 'looking afraid' with her eyes open during her final moment of life, but of her laughing and enjoying life BEFORE the dementia set in. My mother is 95 in Jan and riddled with advanced dementia herself. I try to remember her NOW as she was before the horrors of it set in, and not as the hollow shell that's left.
Your mother is whole again, thankfully, without dementia or fear or pain or anything bad anymore! Try to focus on that if you can. My condolences on your loss. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.