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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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1st off, no dad likes to be told what to do by his children. That always creates resistance.
2nd I would be wondering about his executive function skills. Does he get confused with how to do the emptying?
Have you asked the doctor to give him instructions and reinforce the need to empty it and to wash thoroughly afterward? That would be what I would try.
I hope you find something that simplifies the process.
He knows and yes it’s difficult for me to get him to do anything. He listens to my husband. He refuses or balks at my requests. I know I can’t fix this. I feel so alone. My husband can let it roll off his back (God bless guys). I am exhausted and lost. Waiting for a couple more doctors reports and then I can get him into the appropriate assisted living facility.
I agree with RealyReal. This may be beyond your Dad's skills. May be something you will need to take over for him. Even if he is capable of DOING it, he may not be capable of understanding when, and need to wash up after. Wishing you good luck.
Save you both the unnecessary grief, and just empty his catheter bag for him. He may not be remembering how or when to, so just do it yourself, and live in peace.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
2nd I would be wondering about his executive function skills. Does he get confused with how to do the emptying?
Have you asked the doctor to give him instructions and reinforce the need to empty it and to wash thoroughly afterward? That would be what I would try.
I hope you find something that simplifies the process.