My mother is wheelchair bound she is not able to stand or transfer on her own. Her quality of life is zero! She is living in a private home with five other residents. I visit very often, there's no quality of life if the only thing to do is eat, sleep, watch TV. When your parent's get to this point what can you do for them.
What we can do for ourselves is another question.
As an RN it was a Priest who taught this atheist not to judge what was best for my patient.
This Priest was exceptionally ill, bedbound and in hospital care with infected decubiti that were so horrific that all RNs doing dressings went with a companion nurse to help.
One day, after the dressing change, I stood outside his door crying with my fellow nurse, saying "He's a PRIEST! WHERE is his GOD. Why doesn't he take him! HOW can he let him suffer this!"
And as we stand there I see his light go on over our head and I lean in asking him "What do you need Father", and here's what he said:
"I might go to sleep from the pain med. Could you wake me at 9 p.m. if I am asleep"?
And I said "Sure! But if the meds are working, WHY?"
"Oh, he laughed "9 p.m. is when Quincy comes on".
Now you may not know who that is, likely, but was a show about a Coroner. A mystery on weekly.
And for Father, that was enough to live for. Quincy at 9 p.m.
Not for us to judge, I think, or decide for another what life is worth living.
And for some, life DOES become too hard.
But for others it's enough to see one more time the lovely color coffee goes when poured over cream.
Bring all the joy you can, and take heart. I just said to another OP that it's a mystery. And it is.
Is she bothered by this or are you bothered by this or both?
My dad had dementia and died of cancer. He loved to go for a walk in the neighborhood as he had before he got sick. It took three of us to walk him, but the look on this face as he gazed up with wonder at the sky through the leaves of the overhanging branches - well, it was worth it. The walk was such a simple thing that he used to do by himself, but it still brought him joy.
As a caregiver for my husband, what brings me joy every day is being able to sit down and put my feet up for a while. I used to do ballroom dancing and physically still could, but I no longer have a partner. That's fine, as long as I can rest my formerly happy feet at least once a day!
Don't think of their lives in terms of what you think they should be doing. They may have some other idea about what makes a good quality of life.
My husband with Parkinson’s disease, no dementia but mobility decreases and other factors, conditions, symptoms appear, (too long to list them all), but his quality of life is definitely diminishing.
Hopefully with some new treatments he will get better for a while but as it happens with progressive diseases it will only get worse and other issues co- morbidity will almost certainly happen, if not already happening.
However, as he always enjoyed and was totally absorbed in many intellectual pursuits and does have tremendous interest in those I would not say his quality of life is completely gone, rather still hoping his motor skills will improve so he can begin exercises again and have more socializing.
Why is it this home has nothing at all going on for the residents yo do besides watching TV? They CAN play bingo, do simple arts and crafts, sewing cards, games, kick the balloon or toss the balloon......there are many activities they can and should be doing, even if it's folding towels! I'd be complaining to whoever runs this place, if it were me.
going is each other. I visit often and bring them treats they always enjoyed from the neighborhood eateries.
I really don’t much care about their level of participation in any activities. That’s on them to figure out.