Has anyone had an attorney craft a "post nuptial agreement" between married couples where one is much older and is starting to have cognitive issues (mild c impairment/MCI)?
My other half is 10 yrs older and has started with MCI. Obviously unclear if this does or does not progress to dementia (TBD). The issues currently are poor mental processing, difficulty finding words/calling things by similar names, visual/spacial problems, balance issues, withdrawal and "crazy spending."
This later issue, of spending is not about the money per se, but buying multiples of the same things over an over that are not needed. Example, we now have 80 staplers. OMG Or donating to some sad thing just seen on TV.
Obviously, this may turn into more "crazy spending" over time. And no court would deem him to lack capacity at this point; so he is free to spend more on more staplers or whatever.
Thinking a post nuptial agreement may be a way to protect our planned inheritance for our two kids, if I pass before him. Likewise, thinking if this agreement (which is an actual contract) may be able to "save funds" for him should he need AL/Memory Care and I am not around. As well as prevent a "gold digger" from coming along, if I were to pass before him.
Anyone have any thoughts or experience with a post nuptial agreement with between spouses where one may be starting down the dementia journey? Yes, am talking with lawyers. Interested in any experience of it went well or what to consider. Thx in advance
This is a huge assumption on your part. If he has MCI, who decided this? You?
Does he have a FPoA? This is the person who now needs to step up to begin activating the authority in order to legally put the brakes on this person's spending.
The PoA needs to be working with his doctor to get a formal diagnosis of sufficient impairment. Maybe give the person a MoCA test which measures executive functioning (reason, judgment). My Mom failed hers but you wouldn't know it by casually talking to her.
Some spouses have had to go through an actual divorce to protect their half of the assets if the impaired one cannot legally be stopped from spending. I'm glad you're talking to an elder law attorney... I hope you can put protections in place soon.
Step two you've taken; CRUCIAL. The elder law attorney and preparing to get your OWN account separated out with your OWN social security going into it and his name not on it. Time to protect any cash assets and all assets in any way you can. Take all info and allow attorney to give pointers for this exact happenstance.
Step three is a banker. Get pointers. Be honest as to what is happening. Be sure to get finances protected best you can as per his suggestion.
Are you already the POA.
It is now, given what you say, too late for "nups" of any kind and for POA which he likely will not understand fully or cooperate with and which will warn and alert him into very paranoid behavior.
Step three is a talk with doctor. He needs a good assessment and followup neuro psyc. What can you do/should you be doing. This is going to get worse.
Wow. I am VERY sorry about all this and you are VERY RIGHT to be VERY worried.