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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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I just saw a similar situation play out. Some felt person with dementia should not be told about a recent death and others felt she should be told. Someone decided on their own to go ahead and deliver the news and was then surprised when the reaction they got was not as expected (i.e. dementia patient did not respond in the same manner as someone without dementia would be likely to respond). I don't know if the person in my scenario even has capacity to truly understand or remember that she was informed of this death. She would be very unlikely to be able to attend a funeral (if there is one). Those who did not want her told didn't see a clear reason to tell her as no action could really be taken by her and there was potential to upset her greatly (even if she did not remember later on). Those who wanted her told I think felt she had a "right" to know regardless of her current mental circumstances. It's hard to give you one answer that fits everyone, but my personal opinion is not to tell her. Maybe her doctor has an opinion on this subject?
Will mom be able to remember even for a few hours? It depends. There will come a time when mom will ask for him often. She will not remember ever being told and if reminded, the grief will begin all over again. My mom would ask about her folks often. I made the mistake of reminding her they had passed a couple times. After the upset and anger, because she thought nobody had ever told her, the therapeutic white lies worked better. Things like it is too late they are sleeping, on vacation, they are coming to visit, etc...
Reminding each time is cruel and not necessary. But once maybe. Or maybe not depending on mom and how you think she will react and how far along her dementia is. At 83, my mom would have been told, she was quite early in her dementia, a year later, no.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Reminding each time is cruel and not necessary. But once maybe. Or maybe not depending on mom and how you think she will react and how far along her dementia is. At 83, my mom would have been told, she was quite early in her dementia, a year later, no.