I work full time and I am a single mother to a 20 year old daughter. There are times that I feel I have no life. I work 8-10 hours a day, come home prepare dinner and get my mom ready for bed including giving her medication, putting on pull-ups and dressing her for bed. When I get home the caregiver leaves and it is my turn. The weekends are spent taking care of my mom, the house, yard and shopping for groceries. I don't ant to be selfish but sometimes I just want it all to stop. Are there others that feel this way at times.
It's like I'm the parent at times instead of the son and there's days when it tests my limits, but I push forward and keep going.
I've even looked at and found some support groups, but they meet when I'm at work and i can't get off. I was very disappointed about this bc it's extremely lonely and for years a dreamed of being a father and a husband but I know and accept the fact that things are what they are so I figure l, just do the best I can.
It's hard to stay positive and keep a smile, but I try to force the smile even though it's very scary wondering if all of this is just a glimpse of my future.
Make it a necessity. An absolute, drop dead, everyone is going up in smoke if you don't do it, necessity to take off at least half a day on the weekend. Make sure your mom is paying for all her care. If she isn't, then you need to get her on medicaid so that she can get in memory care. Is she paying for the caregiver that she has while you are at work? Is she already on medicaid? Tell us more about your situation so you can get answers that are on point to you situation.
Ditto for you Roger. You HAVE to take care of yourself. Many caregivers die before the people they are caring for. You deserve a life of your own, regardless of marriage or children. And reegardless of what your mothers situation is, you can break loose to have something, sometime, for your own. I don't know about the support groups, never had one, but I can tell you that this site is a good place to come when you need to vent. Start a thread of your own and you will get a lot of support and answers to any questions you have.
Hugs to you both.
I hear you, there is so much on your plate. It does feel overwhelming and exhausting. And there is a sense of how long can this gone on for? Its not selfish at all to say you need a break or you need to find other options. I know you love your mom and want to help her, but there is always a breaking point. Please consider talking with a social worker. Maybe its time for assisted living or a nursing home or getting some respite care. Or talking to a counsellor or joining a support group.
If you feel you have no life then the resentment and anger will build. Its not healthy for you or your mom or your daughter. Its hard to find the right balance, but I hope you will. Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. It happens to the best of us, even the most patient person in the world gets to a breaking point.
Cdnreader: “Maybe its time for assisted living or a nursing home”
Absolutely agree with these statements. You deserve more! Are you an only child? If not, where are the other sibs? Maybe it's time for your mother to move in with them?