She has dementia and I believe she really does think she took them, but I'm sure she is remembering taking them on a different day. I say, "Mom, if you took your pills, why are they still here"? She has lots of answers such as "someone put more there", "that's a different dish" or my favorite, "Why don't you believe me? I know I took them". I tried to reason with her, tried to scare her that she will get sick if she doesn't take them, tried waiting until lunch time and give them to her then, but she can be very stubborn and keeps insisting she took them.
I leave them out for her when I go to work, she is usually still asleep and I have a caregiver come in about 1/2 hour after I leave and she lets me know if Mom didn't take them (again), she also tries and is sometimes successful getting her to take them at lunch, but not always.
She has lived with us for the past 5 years and the struggle is only getting worse. I ask her "Why would I lie to you? I'm only trying to do what's best for you". Her only response to that is "Why would I lie to you? I know I took them".
Night time is much easier as my husband and I are both there to make sure she takes them it's just the morning pills that are an issue.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can convince her to take her forgotten meds?
Thanks so much
Tired of arguing
perhaps your Mother is wiser than you realize
Mom. Faulty memory = faulty ability to take pills. Her personality decides if she will meekly let you decide for her or to decide for herself.
You. How important is Mom taking her pills to you? It does NOT mean you are a 'bad' caregiver if she does not! (Just means she won't take her pills).
Just have you have adjusted from Mom dishing out her own pills to having them dished out for her, the next choice has arrived.
Either YOU choose:
take your best Nurse-in-Charge assertive manner & say "It's time for your pills. Take them now please. Thankyou Ma'am". Then march on with your day.
Or, you let MOM choose:
Put pills into a little med cup, show her, leave them with her. She takes them. Or not.
Even in a care setting, people have the right to refuse pills. Med chart is noted *refused*. Offered again next round.
Have a think about what direction suits your & your Mom's values.
My mom has been on high blood pressure tablets for years. She will still tell a doctor that she takes her tab everyday but this has not been the case for almost 3 years now. I will tell the doctor on the side that this is not the case.
I was given the advise and decided to buy a BP monitor and if she is displaying any dizziness or light headed symptoms, I take her BP just to check if there is any potential risk. So far these have all been false alarms.
Mom basically weened herself off these tablets years ago and arguing with her will only cause anguish for both of us. Usually more for me than for her.
Dementia sufferers can be very cold emotionally. The loving parent we once knew is no longer there. We need to understand that the only emotions displayed are for there own purposes. Sadness, scared, and anger. So in essence what I'm trying to say is let your mom do what she wants. It's not worth the upset unless the medication is 100% necessary. These old people are physically way stronger than we think.
All the best with your mom.
It can be frustrating and overwhelming when you're trying to help a senior adult maintain a standard of living. Both my mom whose 98 and my disabled sister in her 60's used to fight with me about medication on a regular basis. Medication time has become the standard for breakfast - lunch and dinner. I stopped asking mom if she took her medication instead I ask has she finished her breakfast? (everything). I call them down for supper to take their medicine and dinner is on the table. It's become a ritual. Taking care of two senior adults is again overwhelming but fighting with them about doing exactly what the doctor says sometimes infuriates me. They talk real nice to the doctor but when they get home it's a battle for attention. I've resigned to recognize that sometimes they just need some additional attention so "medication time" is also meal time. No one leaves the table until the medicine is taken. There is a very specific schedule for "taking medication" and it's delivered with a hot meal three times a day. Sometimes I'm just agreeable. "I know you took your medicine but that was your breakfast medicine. I need you to take your dinner medicine!". Every once in a while it turns into a dialogue on what the medication is for even though they've been taking it for many many years. I've found that one of the greatest difficulties at being a full time care giver after retiring from 40 years of law is just knowing and remembering to step back and relax and them gently remind them what they must do. Drink water, eat healthy and take your medicine. Sometimes a gentle reminder helps even the most difficult patient, parent or relative move in the right direction.
Good luck.
In my opinion, we are fortunate to be caring for our loved ones and continuing to grow.
After telling me for years that she is fine and I am the one with cognitive issues, a medical crisis landed her in the hospital where she was assessed as having advanced dementia. She is in respite care, waiting on a NH room.
Of course, that doesn't ensure she takes the pills. But, my strategy is to use technology for any cues I possibly can. My mom doesn't argue with the calendar reminders on her phone, or prompts from the Alexa like she does with me.
If you choose to go the more personal route, I would not discuss the pills. Simply set them out for her to take at the right time. No discussion, distraction or argument. You'd be surprised at how easy it might be when you disengage.
He only takes vitamin pills - no medications yet - so I don't worry as much, but if I see them sitting there on their little red plate, I just remind him and offer a glass of water.