My mother is 87 with CHF and dementia. She has an 11 year old dog and still lives alone in her condo. Her dog has been getting sick because she cannot stop herself from feeding him small portions of what she eats daily. I have tried, begged, her to stop and have explained how it is making him sick. The vet put her dog back on bland diet and antibiotic. I am afraid I will have to remove him from her home. She loves this dog more than life and she doesn't understand what she is doing, she would never harm him in any way on purpose. Please help, need advise. Thank you.
Fast forward, she over fed Jessie, a miniature pinscher type until it was a barrel on legs, developed diabetes, went blind and died. I inherited Sue from her, a minpin x jack russell, then a whopping 28lb, now a trim 18lb, though not totally house clean. I probably saved her life.
I'm older now with physical issues, live in the country with a large fenced backyard and I've vowed only to adopt seniors from here on. I have no family and my Will leaves more than enough to care for anyone I may leave behind ... until we meet again across the rainbow bridge.
Your mother has dementia. You must come to terms with the fact that she is NO longer able to make rational decisions in her own or anyone else's best interests. (As in, feeding the dog things she shouldn't.) If you are going to move her in with you, then just find a way to do it. Don't ask! Plan and tell her what's going on and then just proceed.
This may seem "disrespectful" of her as your mother/parent - but that person is gone. It is time for you to take control and make decisions that are in her best interests.
As an example - my MIL needed to get her hair done desperately, but would refuse to go when I made an appt. So the next time I made one, I didn't tell her until the morning of the day we were going. When she started to refuse, my husband told her - "Remember, you told us a few days ago that you wanted to make this appt. and so we did, and now you're going." And that was that. She did not want to admit that she didn't recall saying so.
Yes, you will have to lie to get your loved one to do what's in their own (and others') best interests. You are no longer dealing with a rational adult, but with a person with the mind of a small child - who is getting smaller by the day.
Its hard on Mom and its hard on You, no matter what.
When she got too sick to live on her own, being reunited with her dog was a big plus to moving in with us.
For all of you that have pet, you should all have a Pet Trust completed that will spell out who is to care for your pet when you can no longer do so. Another option is to do a pet guardianship with a local NO KILL shelter.
While we all love our animals, I am a little confused as those who would sacrifice the health of the animal for the comfort of a person. It's not all about the human. We can't put a pet's life to be sacrificed for a person who is ill. To me that is selfish and if mom was thinking clearly, she wouldn't want her pet's health harmed. I would try to think of what she would want, if she was thinking clearly.
Little dogs that are companions to elderly serve a special role. Since you are buying the food limit mom to foods that are healthy for both mom and puppy. If not healthy at least ones that don't make them sick.
I can't keep my aunt from feeding too many snacks but I buy healthy ones and put the dogs food and water in the self filling type dispensers. That way if aunt forgets to put out food and water the puppy gets something to eat. My biggest worry as it relates to her pet is that one will outlive the other.