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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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She is calling the police on me. She is accusing me of things that I haven’t done. She is calling family members and telling lies. I’ve contacted Aging and Disability. I need help!
I am not certain what Aging and Disability are. Can you tell me? I AM familiar with APS (Adult Protective Services). Have they been called? Your mother is 90 and your profile says that she has dementia. If your mother is inviting felons in and they will not leave, I think the police are the proper call for you to make; who ARE these felons? Are they known to your 90 year old mother? Why is she being left alone to associate with and meet felons and bring her to the home? Are you her POA?
What steps have to taken to take your mother to her MD for a try at some medications that may have a calming effect on her? Has she been tested for a UTI? How long has this behavior been going on?
Have police actually been answering your mother's calls to them and showing up at your home? Do family members actually believe that you are abusing your mother?
I think that if this goes on for much longer and you have made all attempts, then the fact is that whether your mother's accusations are real or not, they are still too disturbing to her to allow the two of you to remain together. This may be a part of her dementia, but it clearly isn't going well your being in care of her at this point, for BOTH your sakes.
Offhand, and knowing only what you tell us, I would suggest placement for Mom if all medical tests (including a urinalysis C&S) turn out to be fine.
I am caring for my mother Marjorie , who is 90 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, diabetes, hearing loss, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and vision problems.
About Me I am trying to help my mother who’s been diagnosed with dementia. She is constantly calling family members and accusing me of abusing her and treating her badly. I’ve called Aging And Disability and I’ve made a report when I thought I was reporting her and her treatment towards me and letting them know that, she says I’m abusing her and harassing her. They said no she’s abusing you and harassing you and they made a report on her harassing me. She is now inviting my sister who has not seen her since 2018 into the home with her son that is a felon. I had to call the police and get restraining orders put on the both of them so they can’t come here anymore. I need help on placing her somewhere. She has limited income from my father and he was a vet. I need help to know where I can put her and how I can get it paid for.
Why would the police agree to a restraining order against your mother's daughter? If her grandson is a felon and out on parole, is he not allowed to visit his grandmother, I don't understand? I don't understand a lot of what you've written, honestly.
Do you have POA? If so, apply for Medicaid on moms behalf, if she qualifies, and place her in Skilled Nursing care if she qualifies for it.
Do you have POA for making healthcare and/or financial decisions for your mother? If so, you can use it to move her into a facility. If not, it may take getting guardianship to do so. Her money and assets are used to pay for her care. When this runs out, or if there is already no money, Medicaid is applied for and her care will be paid for through that. I’m glad you’re keeping unsafe people from your home and sorry it’s become such a hard time
When she gets paranoid you can call 911 and tell them she's delusional and may have a UTI (which she might). Is she on meds for her anxiety? Is her diabetes under control? Once she's in the hospital you can tell them she's an unsafe discharge and talk to a social worker at the hospital about getting her discharged directly to a facility. They may have to acquire guardianship for her in order to manage her affairs.
If you have POA, you can place her in Memory care if she has the money or a NH with Medicaid paying. Call Adult protection sevices and see if they can help.
I hope you find placement for mom soon. Do your best to find out if she's been giving keys to any of the felons. Change locks if she has. Or maybe there really aren't any felons, it's a story she made up.
Whatever it is, she shouldn't be living alone now and heaven forbid that any family member take her into their home. She has more problems than can reasonably be handled in a home setting.
How long has your Mom lived with you? You are probably in your 70s and shouldn't be dealing with caregiving a 90 year old with Alz/dementia making false claims about you. Problem is that once they get mail at your address, they officially live there. It makes them hard to get out! Especially if they are stubborn, or they like drama and causing trouble for you in your own home.
If Mom doesn't want to leave, getting her in a facility will not be easy. Neither is babysitting her 24/7 so she won't get into trouble, which she already is doing. Nevada must have some type of Medi-Cal program to apply for her, to pay for her long term care. You shouldn't be paying for her care.
Call the County Aging Services and Adult Protective Services and tell them you are too old and can't take care of Mom, she is causing trouble, and you can't afford her. Ask for a social worker to help you get her placed somewhere where she can be safe. Meanwhile, take the phone away she's using to call relatives and communicate with the sister with felon son. Keep your home under lock down until she's out. Tell Mom NO VISITORS OR GUESTS. Make copies of those Restraining Orders, have them handy and put the local cops number on speed dial. Give Social Worker copies. Good luck!
BTW - Don't expect the VA to help you with anything. They have 5 year wait lists for SNF or Memory Care.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I AM familiar with APS (Adult Protective Services). Have they been called?
Your mother is 90 and your profile says that she has dementia.
If your mother is inviting felons in and they will not leave, I think the police are the proper call for you to make; who ARE these felons? Are they known to your 90 year old mother? Why is she being left alone to associate with and meet felons and bring her to the home?
Are you her POA?
What steps have to taken to take your mother to her MD for a try at some medications that may have a calming effect on her? Has she been tested for a UTI? How long has this behavior been going on?
Have police actually been answering your mother's calls to them and showing up at your home?
Do family members actually believe that you are abusing your mother?
I think that if this goes on for much longer and you have made all attempts, then the fact is that whether your mother's accusations are real or not, they are still too disturbing to her to allow the two of you to remain together. This may be a part of her dementia, but it clearly isn't going well your being in care of her at this point, for BOTH your sakes.
Offhand, and knowing only what you tell us, I would suggest placement for Mom if all medical tests (including a urinalysis C&S) turn out to be fine.
I am caring for my mother Marjorie , who is 90 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, diabetes, hearing loss, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and vision problems.
About Me
I am trying to help my mother who’s been diagnosed with dementia. She is constantly calling family members and accusing me of abusing her and treating her badly. I’ve called Aging And Disability and I’ve made a report when I thought I was reporting her and her treatment towards me and letting them know that, she says I’m abusing her and harassing her. They said no she’s abusing you and harassing you and they made a report on her harassing me. She is now inviting my sister who has not seen her since 2018 into the home with her son that is a felon. I had to call the police and get restraining orders put on the both of them so they can’t come here anymore. I need help on placing her somewhere. She has limited income from my father and he was a vet. I need help to know where I can put her and how I can get it paid for.
Why would the police agree to a restraining order against your mother's daughter? If her grandson is a felon and out on parole, is he not allowed to visit his grandmother, I don't understand? I don't understand a lot of what you've written, honestly.
Do you have POA? If so, apply for Medicaid on moms behalf, if she qualifies, and place her in Skilled Nursing care if she qualifies for it.
Good luck to you.
Whatever it is, she shouldn't be living alone now and heaven forbid that any family member take her into their home. She has more problems than can reasonably be handled in a home setting.
If Mom doesn't want to leave, getting her in a facility will not be easy. Neither is babysitting her 24/7 so she won't get into trouble, which she already is doing. Nevada must have some type of Medi-Cal program to apply for her, to pay for her long term care. You shouldn't be paying for her care.
Call the County Aging Services and Adult Protective Services and tell them you are too old and can't take care of Mom, she is causing trouble, and you can't afford her. Ask for a social worker to help you get her placed somewhere where she can be safe. Meanwhile, take the phone away she's using to call relatives and communicate with the sister with felon son. Keep your home under lock down until she's out. Tell Mom NO VISITORS OR GUESTS. Make copies of those Restraining Orders, have them handy and put the local cops number on speed dial. Give Social Worker copies. Good luck!
BTW - Don't expect the VA to help you with anything. They have 5 year wait lists for SNF or Memory Care.