How do you deal with an alcoholic when doing the caregiving?
I got a new case, and the client is playing possum on some things. I watched her sit and peddle one of the floor bikes for about two or three hours with occasional breaks. When I transferred her from the wheelchair to the walker to her bed, she acted like she couldn't stand. Now, she had been peddling this makeshift miniature bike, but now can't stand? I knew this was all bs, and told her to scoot back on the bed. Then she was trying tell me to lift her up. I told her to bend her knees and push backwards while I helped.
I fixed breakfast and she didn't want to eat it. Her husband set her up with two cans of beer and she nursed one while watching tv. She wanted me to sweep and mop her entire apartment along with fixing a dinner she didn't eat. While I was working she kept insisting that I was new to the job and tried to find out why I wouldn't be working on Fridays with her. I asked her what did CompanyX tell you. I confirmed it that I don't work on Fridays. I counted thirty four tasks on her task list. Tomorrow she expects me to clean her refridgerator. She claimed the bathroom needs cleaning everyday.
What she failed to realize that I'm only to clean the areas where she occupies. She mentioned something about cleaning off dressers and organizing while she sits back and drinks telling me what to do.
I have since moved on from this client and the company. I started working with a company I started with in 2017. No complaints so far.
You should be looking into other medical jobs, where you won't have to suffer emotionally. I just went to my One Medical appt. for labs, and the office girls have nice jobs, helping all age patients with their appts. lab tests, PCP visits, and in a nice new office, built by Amazon.
You'd be perfect in there! Maybe it's time to start looking for a career change. You've been through enough hell, and need to branch out somewhat....and meet some new people. You deserve it. I talked to one front desk gal today who had done caregiving 10 years, who just started working at One Medical. She is so much happier.
I'd love to see it happen and tell us about it!
I am back with my old company and it is much better. I've been doing four hour shifts so far and it's working out.
We hired a housekeeper to clean the house. That is not the caregivers job. His job is light housekeeping - meaning he cleans up after them, cleans up their dishes, and empties the trash. He does not dust or vacuum or mop or deep clean the bathroom or kitchen.
You sound like a very compassionate nurturing person and those types of people are easily taken advantage of. Sounds like the client is bullying you into doing other things and you really need to put your foot down on what you are contracted to do and stick to that with no apologies. If you don't have it in you to do that then maybe you should ask to be reassigned.
As for the drinking, you are not being asked to set out her beers, her husband is doing that. If it's only two throughout the whole day, that doesn't sound too bad. I have/had a number of alcoholics in my family and they drink/drank non-stop, and well more than two beers a day. But if the alcohol is interfering with her medication that's a problem beyond your ability. If you feel the alcohol is problematic then your best option is to report it to your agency or her doctor and let them handle it. Does she have a home health doctor who visits her at home or does she go to doctor appointments outside? I'd want to make sure one of those doctors knows about the beers just to be sure it's not interfering with her medications. Good luck.
This client cancelled again today saying that she had to go to the doctor because she was not feeling well. Well, I just got word from the agency that we are back on with this case tomorrow.
This is insane. This company claims they don't have that many cases yet they are constantly hiring new aides. I have an orientation with another agency on Friday.
I have told this story before where a clients wife was able to get an aide for him while she worked. She felt the aide should be doing the family laundry, dirty dishes left by the family and clean the whole apartment. My head Nurse said no, as long as there is another adult in the home, the aide is only responsible for the needs of client. The husband can do the "honey do list". If client needs the refrigerator cleaned and windows washed, then DH does it or hires a cleaning lady.
So in this instant, you are not responsible to do laundry, husband can do it. You could do hers but the husband does his. I would change the bed sheets and wash because she uses it. I would wipe down the kitchen and do dishes if I was involved in making the mess. I would clean the area she actually lives in but you are not responsible for the whole home. Your main job is to take care of her needs, like her ADLs.
I was on a phone meeting last night, but I think I need a sponsor to help me through all of this. Unfortunately, my sponsors I had when I first came into the program are all deceased. They were all old ladies when I started, and some even lived past one hundred years old. So, I've been winging it on my own.
I know that I need to add things to my life like going to church, taking walks and having good friends. This caretaking business is for the birds. It is a thankless job, and people will try to take advantage of you if you let them.
I had put in a call for the nurse manager who is handling the case to call me back. Secondly, I need to stop putting myself in these cases and treat this like it is, a job. I don't need to take what this sick person says about me personally. I need to stop letting these people live rent free in my head. Maybe, I can suggest splitting the case with another aide during the week. I can do three days and the other aide can do two days so all the work won't fall on one person.
I need to learn how to turn off these cases in my head when I clock out and go home. My home time shouldn't be bothered with some deranged person does or don't do. Whether it is a dementia brain or a drunk brain or both for that matter. I need to detach.
I did an Al-Anon phone meeting tonight. I didn't get much out of it and hung up. As the old saying goes; "It be's that way sometime." Old slang~
Thirdly, I need to get a life and do things that I enjoy. Sure, times are tough but they are going to get better. It seems like I've been on this board forever whining about some old person.
On a more pleasant note, I registered a couple of my cats as Emotional Support Animals.
Maybe I'll find a boyfriend for 2024. He will have to like cats. 😆
Does that mean you can take you cats to resurraunts or stores?
As far as the beer, doesn't sound like a lot of alcohol, but maybe she is an alcoholic, and maybe she needs it, to prevent DTs. I wouldnt worry about a couple beers.
Id say give it a try, but don't let them turn you into there pee-on
She likely has a good bit of encephalopathy, and unless you read her chart, who knows what else.
In any case, you are paid I would assume to do the things you are doing (if not you should not be doing them and should let them know what you are paid to do). It isn't honestly your business about the alcohol if this is the wish of the husband and wife involved.
I do remember a time when we new mothers were encourage to have beer to produce milk. I sure think THAT went to the wayside soon enough (we are talking 60s, after all).
I would just continue to do your job, keep records you are supposed to keep.
If you work for an agency, Scampie, definitely DO discuss with those who supervise you.
I think that you will find caregiving to be much like all else in life. You may attend faith based community? Do you like all of them? It is not unusual to "like" one client more than another, but it is also best kept to one's self overall.
I noticed that if anyone stays sitting or laying for weeks and days on end, they will lose the strength in the gluts, upper and lower back.
The chutzpah of some people amazes (and disgusts) me.
This is correct. This woman is pushing the envelope with me. I went in the bathroom, and stood there. I poured some PineSol in the sink and swished it around, cleaned mirrors and the floor. That's it. It is more than what some other aides would have done.
These people are on the taxpayers dime trying to squeeze every little cent they can out of people and are not even paying for the services.
I'm going to address the drinking part with the manager when she calls. I think she had me cook the dinner for the husband.
I called the agency and asked to speak with the clinical manager. She will probably call me back tomorrow.
She is definitely trying to take advantage of you.
What’s the husband’s story? Is he in need of care? He should be cooking his own dinner.
They need to hire a housekeeper and have meals delivered!
Geeeeeez, she sounds like a nutcase!
The agency that I used specifically said that the only areas that were to be cleaned were Mom’s room. They specified that it was light housekeeping, floor vacuumed, sheets changed and trash emptied.
I would have never expected anything else. Actually, Mom was a neat person so the only thing that the agency worker did was to put on clean sheets which I had placed out for her. I had already washed Mom’s sheets when I did laundry.
Can you ask the agency to explain these stipulations to your client again?