I have become increasingly dissatisfied with my job situation. I have been working at my job for nearly 20 years, am well paid, have excellent benefits and some flexibility with scheduling, as my supervisor understands that I am sole caregiver for my mom with dementia. I am 59, so not quite old enough to retire yet. I wish I was because I just can't stand my job anymore for reasons I won't go into. I also have zero time to actually search for and apply for new jobs because in my spare time I am caring for my mom.
Lately I have started to think that I could quit my job next year, take some time off (have enough saved to live job-free for about 2 years) and have enough time to do a proper job search. Getting paid to take care of mom is my worst case scenario, in case I can't find a job that I enjoy. We would of course consult an elder law attorney, draw up a contract, etc because I am mindful of the possibility that mom may some day need to apply for Medicaid.
She is 82, has mild dementia and will probably live for many more years as she is in generally good health. She currently has 3 caregivers, one who works 5 hours a week, another who works 15 hours a week and a third who works 25 hours a week (two overnights). I would replace the ones who work a total of 20 hours a week and of course pay myself for things that I have been doing for her without pay.
Curious if any of you have done this, what it was like, what the advantages/disadvantages were ... Again it's a worst case scenario situation for me. My preference is to leave the job where I am dissatisfied and eventually find something more enjoyable for the last 6-11 years of working life that I have left.
They will send someone to the home and determine what she may need and how many hours she qualifies for. Then the state pays the care giver. Services provided are light housekeeping, meal prep, etc. Family members are eligible to be paid care givers. I am a provider for my developmentally BIL. As a provider you would have to submit an application, background check, fingerprints, etc.
Bear in mind that it is eventually TOO MUCH WORK for one person no matter who is getting paid to do it.
Consult with an elder care attorney as you mentioned. Start keeping receipts for EVERYTHING. Keep ALL copies of every receipt and and ALL the pages of every bill (even if page is virtually blank), bank statements, etc. If the bill say 1 of 4, etc, be sure you have all pages. Medicade will want them ALL.
I tell you this from Medicade processes we went through for my BIL and mother.
Be sure you have copies of birth certificates, death certificates (fathers?), copies of any trust, bank statements, POAs, house titles, etc. Once again this comes from experience.
My moms care taking journey was a LONG difficult experience. Some of the paperwork processes were horrendous and complicated by Covid.
If you decide to be your moms caregiver check with your local Council on Aging for respite services. You’ll need it.
Good luck.
My Mother was ailing and I was having issues at work...
There months later I had an ephiany that I committed the worst mistake of my life... By September of 2000, things quieted down and life wasn't as chaotic..
My Mother died October 2002 and in those 5 years afterwards I grieved something awful but with our Lord and Blessed Lady's help I was able to accept my Brother's death in November 2007.. Life was difficult after my Mother's death as I didn't return to work...
Tall to Family before you make such a commitment..
Good Luck...
I was in the same situation, i left good job, because stress was worse, no regrets.
Now, being caregiver, there is stress, but I have some control and choices.
Maybe work part time or take some time for yourself as you have flexibility. If you decide to become caregiver, make sure your pay is as high as possible, it is not taking advantage, it is one job that is under appreciated.
I am her POA, so I pay the bills, keep track of all of her financial and health necessities. I log in these hours and get paid for it, and why not? If we hired someone, they would get paid. If she lives long enough and the money runs out, we have all the documentation needed for Medicaid.
When I consulted an elder care attorney a few years ago, I had already researched for the contracts, I made up my own timesheet using Excel, and was keeping the records of everything. The attorney looked it over and said it was just fine and would satisfy Medicaid requirements. The timesheets I found on the internet were just too complicated. Your mom is already paying for some care, so you know what it costs. The attorney advised us to set our rate a little lower than the rate charged by caregiver businesses, but we charge more than what those businesses pay their employees, it's in the middle. You want to make sure it's not too high for eventual Medicaid filing, but high enough for you to have to pay the taxes because mom has to file a 1099 for you (which you will have to do for her).
You mentioned in a reply that you have been giving more thought to cutting back your hours to take on more care of your mom. I can see you are good at brainstorming, but it's also nice to get feedback from those of us who have traveled this path.
I think you already know most of this, as indicated in your post. There are even available allowances for respite care for the caregivers to take time off. We haven't done this yet. It can be so mind-numbing caring for an adult like this. I was a licensed daycare provider for many years, it was a lot of work, but also so rewarding watching the kids grow and learn. The caretaking of an elder is very difficult. Cleaning up a poop mess from an adult is not the same as changing a baby diaper. Giving a baby a bath is way different than having your mother grit her teeth and scream "I hate you" because you try to get her to take a shower.
Good luck, this aging care is tough stuff, but somebody has to do, so why not get paid for it.