I like my caregiver, however I do not like her bringing her children along at times. She has the 10yr. old daughter (which is o.k.), but a 6yr, or 7yr, old
boy, who touches everything on my coffee table. Sneaks into my office, I resent majorly. I do not want to hurt her feelings, but I do not know how to tell her to leave her children at home. If this keeps up, I will have to look for another caregiver. Help, Help.
Thanks
I saw her respond at least a half dozen times in the beginning, so maybe she felt like she'd responded enough. Or maybe she's busy.
Why jump to the most negative conclusion possible? And why write it as if it's fact, instead of the speculation/assumption that it actually is?
The OP hasn't told us how she handled her caregiver situation because many of the responses were probably ones she didn't want to hear.
There were more than a few of us who told her not to be such a hard-a** to the caregiver and that she should count herself lucky that she has good help that her parent gets along with.
Sometimes people go away when you don't tell them what they want to hear.
Is the problem that she brings the children without having asked? Or, did she ask and you said yes?
Is the problem she brings her children? Or, is the problem the behavior of the younger boy?
Is the woman doing her job well?
How does your parent get along with the caregiver, and the kids?
Have you actually spoken to the caregiver? If not, why not?
What reasonable activities do you have for the child to do?
What reasonable alternatives does the caregiver have?
What reasonable alternatives do you have if not this caregiver?
Is this a liability concern for you? Or, an annoyance?
Your answers inform your options:
If this is a liability issue, the caregiver is not doing her job, or your parent is negatively impacted by the children, there is no discussion. Find a backup plan before you tell her she can't bring the kids.
If you don't have reasonable care options, the answer needs to be a negotiation of what can happen to improve the child's behavior given you need a caregiver.
All the other questions may lead to discussion, planning, boundary setting and creative thinking. But, you will have to have a discssion - something you might not have done, yet, if there are children in the house regularly without your permission.
Learning Lesson: be clear early on, before there is a problem.
My layman's understanding of the law is that if you had the caregiver sign a waiver absolving you of responsibility if one of her children was hurt on your property or broke something, it would not stand up in a court of law if there was a suit. Perhaps another contributor who has a law background could answer this better.
Pick your battles. Caregivers get paid very little & good ones are certainly not a dime a dozen.
This is a long, long, long difficult journey. Have your chat with her and be done with it - not worth losing a good one.
Every caregiving situation is not the same. It's very possible to get the actual work done with kids there.
Much of the job is more or less just an exercise in patience and endurance of mind-numbing boredom. Caregivers can manage that with kids. Many times an elderly person likes having kids around too.
Did you give permission on a rare occasion and she figured you would allow it?
Anyhow, I feel that I would simply explain she needs to leave her children at home during work hours.
I am a Supervisor in Homecare. I read thought some of the threads and definitely agree with “ wifeofadrummer” I believe she said it best. However, I don’t know if you are going through the state or if you are paying for care with an agency. If you’re going through an agency, if so most of them don’t allow children in your house. It’s usually against ALL policies and procedures. The policies are set into play through Medicaid. If a child were too get hurt it’s going to be a liability problem.The caregiver would and has been terminated for this. Breaking rules has consequences. This is a big deal in my state.
If you are paying for service privately. then you could just let the caregiver just know it’s a huge liability on your behalf and ask her not to bring any of them. Even if you are paying private. It could mean you receive the caregiver through an agency so the same rules should still apply.
Remember if you need to say anything do it nicely. These girls(most of them ) are not respected enough for the kind of work they’ve chosen to do. Too leand a helping hand especially nowadays is a Godsend. To say the least. Another scenario is she maybe home schooling them now and has no support system in place, but needless to say something has got to give.
Best of luck!
He sits at the counter and eats his after school snack until she finishes up.
During the week of snow we had in Feb, she had no electricity for the week. I insisted that her family come stay in our house until her electricity came back
My husband enjoyed the company. Her older son sat and watched movies with my husband; her fiancé cleared a bunch of fallen branches, and she and I carried on as usual. Her 6 year old kept my husband entertained with his dinosaurs and hot cars
It's a personal choice how you treat your caregiver. Ours has become a family member. She and I will remain in touch after my husband has to go into MC.
"LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME"
Otherwise, this working relationship won't work.
And, there are liability issues. What if the kid(s) fall, get hurt. This is on you legally. Immediately start looking for someone else as a back-up. Just in case you need to replace her.
It started as an "unexpected problem arose" then evolved into an everyday matter. We asked her not to
bring her 3 and 5 year olds along. Stopped for a while; then started up again plus they were high energy kids
and my MIL was a frail 92 year old. Terminated the care-giver for that and many other little problems.
Does the person she's the caregiver to like having her kids there? Sometimes elderly people like having little kids around. It makes them happy. I used to bring my boy along to my client's house from time to time. Not for lack of childcare, but because my elderly clients liked him so much and looked forward to seeing him.
If the person being cared for likes the caregiver's kids and them being there doesn't interfere with the work she has to get done, then leave well enough alone.
However, have a serious talk with her about what is not allowed in your house. Your office is off limits. Her kids do not make a mess or play with your stuff. Your house cannot be her daycare replacement. The kids being at your place cannot be an every day thing. If your worker is okay with this and is respectful of it, she needs to also sign a legal document stating that if one of her kids gets hurt at your house she will not try to sue you. Caregivers for the elderly are usually poor and do not earn decent wages. If they work for an agency low wages and no benefits are guaranteed.
The agencies have themselves covered and protected. The worker signs paperwork that they will not sue the agency if they get hurt at work. The clients and their property are not protected. A caregiver might get an opportunity if you know what I mean, and the chances of an opportunity increase if the kids come along too.
Get her to sign a liability agreement to protect yourself from possible lawsuits. When that's done and she agrees to your conditions, don't be too strict on the kids showing up if the person being cared for doesn't mind them being there. If they do mind then it has to be a hard 'NO' and you'll have to find a new caregiver.
If she feels that she would rather not be employed by you, then that's OK. You deserve someone who focuses on you for the time they are with you.
Everyone's situation is not the same. Sometimes a person does not have to be a hard a** about it.
When you have a good caregiver who's honest and decent, be grateful because we're not so easy to come by.
Speaking to the caregiver first is often a better idea then immediately snitching on them to their supervisor.