A family friends little sister (16) is in at home hospice care and her dad is not allowing step-Mom, bio Mom, or sibilings to visit. If they are allowed to visit it’s for 15 minutes and if they show up to the house without permission they will have the cops called. Is he allowed to do this? Does he have the choice on who can and can’t see her?
I'm very sorry to hear about your friend's sister. Such a young age to face the end of life. And so sad for all the family members, especially those who want to be with her and can't. :-(
It may also be that there is an infection control issue here.
And there is a difference, a crucial difference, between saying a) he won't let these people see her and b) he wishes to restrict their visits. Which is it?
I think if I were your friend I would call Child Protective Services and explain the situation. I would say I did not want her care to be disrupted or for her to be moved. I was just hoping there would be some way that I and other family members could visit, as she wants.
And why aren't the girl's mother and/or step-mom taking legal action, or calling CPS, etc?
If the child's mother has clear evidence that her dying child is asking to see her and this is being prevented, she should go straight to CPS and request an intervention. But even as I type it this scenario sounds highly improbable.
But in any case, this child is receiving hospice care. There are experienced professionals, mandated reporters, on the scene. I don't think our OP can have been given the complete picture.
It's harrowing to imagine what on earth is going on in this family or what terrible emotions everyone involved must be struggling with. I hope there is some kind of resolution very soon.
I think there IS more going on here. But no one knows how the daughter truly feels, and whether or not SHE wants or is able to handle visitations. That she allegedly wants to see these people is only what Taylor has posted, and apparently not observed directly, but rather through others' comments.
I honestly am horrified at someone videotaping a father trying to care for his dying daughter. How crass.
If the father allows 15 minutes, that's probably all she can handle. For someone who's dying, that's enough of a challenge, unless someone just sits and holds her hand and doesn't expect interaction.
When my sister was a few months into a longer process of dying, she said that she couldn't handle visitors b/c it was (a) too tiring to try to speak (b) too tiring to try to be pleasant and engage in conversation. She asked that I not invite anyone over and that I keep people from coming.
My sister was always a very social person, so this was a surprise to me, but as I saw her deteriorate, I saw how much everything was a challenge for her.
One former young woman to whom my sister was a "Big Sister", in that program, called her directly and invited herself over. And stayed 2 hours. And she brought her 2 small children.
My sister told me afterward that she was just exhausted and needed to sleep for the rest of the day. This woman, who had no comprehension of the needs of someone who was dying, was well intentioned but severely challenged my sister's ability to tolerate a visit.
I suspect something like this might be occurring in the OP's situation.
And her original post indicates that he/she's a family friend, not part of the family. I'm not really sure it's her position or right to consider contacting outside authorities, even though I do understand the concern posted by the posters who suggested it, as the OP's posts seem urgent and infer a dire situation and literal "locking out" of other family members.
I noted also that the biological mother isn't allowed to visit. So, the daughter is living with her father who apparently is taking care of her during her last days, but the biological mother isn't, and apparently would be a "visitor." I won't even speculate what could be involved in that relationship.
We DON'T have the whole story on this situation.