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I am suffering the same guilt - it really is the most awful thing to decide.
My husband has been in nursing care now for almost a year and it does gradually get a bit better. Trust me - Being a caregiver has to be the hardest job in the world. I am unable to care for him anymore due to health issues of my own. I feel for you. He may be upset for a few weeks but will eventually accept the routine. Visiting him every day is totally NOT the way to handle it, you will get sick yourself and will be no good to him then at all. He will handle the routine much better if you are not there all the time. I am in my 80's also and cannot in any way pick him up from the many falls. Maybe your children could visit their father more frequently. We have worked out a twice a week visiting schedule with my son and daughter an me and it seems to work OK. Good luck and stop feeling so guilty you are in NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS CONDITION and you deserve a bit of a life yourself after all the years of self sacrifice - Hang in there. GOOD LUCK!! By-the-way my husband is totally blind so he has a double whammy poor guy/
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I am suffering the same guilt - it really is the most awful thing to decide.
My husband has been in nursing care now for almost a year and it does gradually get a bit better. Trust me - Being a caregiver has to be the hardest job in the world. I am unable to care for him anymore due to health issues of my own. I feel for you. He may be upset for a few weeks but will eventually accept the routine. Visiting him every day is totally NOT the way to handle it, you will get sick yourself and will be no good to him then at all. He will handle the routine much better if you are not there all the time. I am in my 80's also and cannot in any way pick him up from the many falls. Maybe your children could visit their father more frequently. We have worked out a twice a week visiting schedule with my son and daughter an me and it seems to work OK. Good luck and stop feeling so guilty you are in NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS CONDITION and you deserve a bit of a life yourself after all the years of self sacrifice - Hang in there. GOOD LUCK!!
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My dear soul - you were blessed with a great marriage and there is a lot of love but we can't stop the aging situation. You have done everything in your power for your man but now you must think of YOU. What happens if you go down. Disaster. Instead, find a safe place for him to be and visit him and continue the relationship but please, please start thinking about your welfare. That is the only sensible and correct thing to do. Given time and age and physical and mental needs for both of you, this is the ONLY POSSIBLE SOLUTION.
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