Follow
Share

My husband has moved his mother into our house, (I owned the house before we got married), she is a paranoid schizophrenic, (also she is just generally not a nice person)and she stays up all night with her TV and radio on not to mention her light and thr bathroom light all night long. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since she moved in, she will slam the cabinet doors when ahe cant find what shes looking for (which is right in front of her) she's VERY demanding and will confront me at 10:30 pm on Saturday about going to the bank which I tried ALL day Friday to take her to yet she refused to go to. Now he says he wants a divorce because he can't live like this, he quit his job to take care of her and I pay all the bills plus he wants me to do all the housework as well which I think is unfair. He says if I make her move out with him I'm cold hearted but she's not my mom, I don't think I should have to care for her if he chooses to move out. Am I in the wrong?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I don’t see any reason why you would want to stay married to this man .

1) He’s in your house
2) He doesn’t work or do any housework
3) He has you taking care of HIS Mom .
4) He wants to leave , get his freedom and leave his Mom with you .

Your husband is a lazy parasite. like a tick . He fed off you and now is looking to leave for greener pastures AND leaving his unfinished business behind .

Go to a divorce lawyer , get him and Mom out .
Helpful Answer (12)
Report

Evict her. Divorce him. Today.
Helpful Answer (12)
Report
97yroldmom Jun 10, 2024
Angie
I have a loved one who I worry about each and every day. She is bipolar with schizophrenic effective disorder or whatever the DSM label is right now. I will not allow her to even know where I live.

I would sell my home before I would stay in this situation.

Please don’t continue this. Get help today. Nothing good will come of it for any of you.

If the MIL is over 65 then APS can help place her. Although she probably won’t stay.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
Nope not in the wrong. Your soon to be ex-husband is an idiot if he thinks you would be foolish enough to allow his mother to continue living with you after he moves out. I really hope you are going to dump him and his mother and get on with your life. You deserve better than this.
Helpful Answer (11)
Report
Anxietynacy Jun 10, 2024
😉
(2)
Report
See 3 more replies
Hi Angie - Fortunately, this has been a short marriage....and you can begin a brand, new life - He and his mother are weighing you down. I am sure you're going to feel a whole lot better when this situation is behind you. It's better to be on your own than be saddled with these freeloaders. They both should leave as a package deal. Of course, he's going to try to "guilt" you into keeping his mother there....you would have to be tremendously naive and gullible not to see that.

You deserve someone who treats you well and appreciates you - he's not the one. It will feel liberating without either one of them! You asked "if you are in the wrong" - you will be "in the wrong" if you keep either of them in the picture - focus on taking care of yourself with a better life!
Helpful Answer (11)
Report

Run, don't walk to the divorce attorney. You cannot fix this. I'm sorry for your MIL, but she is not your responsibility. Get them both out of YOUR house.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

Your husband does not want to be married to you anymore. It has nothing to do with his mother. You not wanting his rude, pushy, entitled, schitzophrenic mother living in your house and ruining your homelife is not an unreasonable demand. He is taking your very valid reasons for wanting her out and using them as the excuse to break up the marriage.

You DO NOT have to financially support his a$$ because he quit working and wants to stay home with "mommy" like a little kid. Then on top of that still expects you to maintain the home? I don't think so.

Sister, please. Have some respect for yourself because you deserve better than this. Every woman does. Visit a divorce lawyer. First consultations are usually free so it won't cost you anything. If the house was yours before the two of you married it is not joint or communal property. If his name was never put on the deed, it is not a marital asset. A divorce lawyer will explain all of this to you. Please see one.

In the meantime, you do absolutely NOTHING for your husband or his mother. You DO NOT cook for them, grocery shop for them, run errands, wash clothes, no rides, nothing. Take your meals elsewhere too. Don't even eat with them.

If your MIL refuses to turn the bathroom light off, take the bulbs out. If she refuses to turn off the tv and radio in her room, take the tv and radio away. If neither your man or his mother are contributing financially to the household, they don't get a say. If you're the one paying for everything and everyone and it sure sounds like you are, YOU ARE the king in your castle and it was your castle to begin with. Start acting like one.

Visit that divorce lawyer and your life back. It's hard when a marriage ends. I am twice divorced myself. It's not easy, but you'll be all right. Let your husband and his mommy walk off into the sunset together and good luck to them. Take your life back.

God luck to you and please keep us updated. I'm interested in your story.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
AngieS42 Jun 10, 2024
He said he wants a divorce, then he said that I couldnt kick his mother out of the house if he left, that I would be cold hearted. Ive never said anything about not wanting her in the house until he threatened divorce, even after I don't say anything he threw the cold hearted business in when he said she would be staying with me, because I can't just throw her out on the street.
(3)
Report
See 2 more replies
You’re not wrong, you married a mama’s boy, and unfortunately those never change. In your shoes, I’d welcome them moving out and a divorce. This is no way to live. We have neighbors whose son, in his late 30’s, has schizophrenia. They are wonderful caregivers to him, but have undeniably sacrificed their social lives, alienated their other adult children, and messed up their own health in the process. If you don’t want this life, you’re not to blame
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Consider yourself lucky that he wants a divorce.
Consider yourself lucky that you owned the house before you got married.
Get yourself to a good divorce lawyer.
I do hope the two of them are happy living together....someplace else.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Cold as ice. Show him just HOW cold and kick him AND the old lady out immediately, wishing then the Best of Luck.

The end. Thank God.

Dh must've inherited some of mother's mental illness traits if he thinks for ONE SECOND you'd be willing to keep her once he divorces you! 🤣😂😃😆. Really, that's rich. Best I've heard in awhile.

Of course you're not wrong. You're well rid of both of them. Now go spend some of your $$$$ on YOURSELF!
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

I'm so sorry - but I read your post three times to make sure I read it right.

Did you just say that your H (I'm not even giving him the D) moved his paranoid schizophrenic mother into your home, he quit his job to take care of her, expected you to work full time and take care of the entire home alone, now he has decided that HIS mother had caused too many problems in your marriage and he wants a divorce.

But he wants YOU to keep HIS mother???

Your reward for all of this time of hell, the dissolution of your marriage and family at the hands of your H, and the impacts to YOUR mental health and he has the absolute audacity to think he is going to leave her with you?

I want to believe this is some kind of bait joke post but there are really people out there like this.

I don't usually jump to this but what the heck - find yourself the best divorce lawyer in town, lock them down, and get them BOTH out of your house. He didn't leave and cleave and now he just wants to leave and make you cleave to his family.

If he leaves, you call the Police or APS and tell them that he abandoned his mother. That you cannot care for her and that you did not agree to do so. That he walked away knowing this. And that you need them to ensure that he picks his mother up from YOUR home, or you will take her to the nearest hospital and check her in and leave his name as the NOK.

Not your your monkeys, not your circus. Not your problem.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
AngieS42 Jun 10, 2024
Yes ma'am you read that correctly.
(2)
Report
See 5 more replies
See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter