Follow
Share

I have horrible travel anxiety, May was the first time I ever flew, good friends of ours lead us through the whole process. Even brought us to the airport and picked us up.
Now I got another trip coming in January, my mind is all ready spinning, thinking of the what ifs. Oh there are a lot! From snow storms, getting stuck in the airport, to my mother's death, and so much in between.
I gotta try to get over this, or just stay in my state.
Any advice?
Any advice would be great.

Find Care & Housing

26 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
@ doggiemom, I think I solved 2 problems in one. Every dyslexic with server left and right issues, like mine says get a tattoo, it changed there life. On the left hand, because dyslexics brain work backwards, the left side does what the right side is supposed to be doing. I believe them, but just can't get up the courage to do it.

So the next best thing is a bracelet on the left wrist, to test it out, instead of something so permanent. So I found a bracelet that you can put essential oils on.

2 heads are better than one, and I just made 2 issues better with one solution. 😁😁😁
(0)
Report
Thanks doggiemom, the lavender idea is a great idea! I actually have a necklace, that has a little sponge in it that you can soak in essential oils. I bought 2 one for me and one for a friend, never used mine. I'll have to dig it out, it's someplace here.
(1)
Report
I have anxiety attacks and grounded breathing is key. Deep chest breathing by counting 1 2 3 hold for ten and then exhale. Also, focus on your ideal spot. What does it look like? Smell like? What are the sounds? Who is with you? I pray as well.

Get to the airport a couple hours early and get check in and security done. Locate your gate. After you have this, you can get a drink or bite to eat. If you like ariha therapy try lavender or even CBD gummies. Get a stress ball to squeeze if take off and landing scare you and a sleep mask and noise cancelling headphones. If changing planes find your gate first, and then shop or eat. Charge all devices the night before. Have aspirin or dramine on hand. Take small sips of water to stay hydrated.
(2)
Report
Thanks sends, very good point.

It's really scary loosing people.

I was at Dollar general with mom , not that long ago. I always stay near her. I couldn't find her for nothing. I felt like I was 5 years old again, lost my mommy. 😂
(2)
Report
Nacy,
Years ago, when I lost my husband in Walmart, along with his mother....
It was 105 degrees in the smelly onion-town and I tried to keep the engine running in the RV outside.

Then I went to find them, and left my friend to watch my dalmation struggle in the heat. I cannot even walk well enough without pain, let alone search Walmart.

I was too angry to notice my anxiety. This was on a trip where she arrived and started demanding when I should get her home-not on any of my plans.
The rushing, pushing myself to accommodate her demands did give rise to huge anger and anxiety, which accumulated.

Another time, in the airport traveling with my sister, she kept hurrying me, hurry, hurry, hurry. I had to stop in the bathroom, and I broke down, crying. Never traveled with her again.

So, if you can control the timing, take breaks, slow down to your own speed, you can avoid most of the anxiety. Try not to place yourself under the control of people who push you through to meet their own schedule. (describing narcissists here).

Good for you for pushing through the anxiety and not letting that stop your travel plans!

You can also carry a card with you that says: "thank you for your patience while I am challenged with anxiety". And hand that to the stewardess on the plane while you order a nice orange juice.
(1)
Report
Thanks way, this one should be ok, being with friends 😃 lol and I have lots of great tips from reddit/dyslexia.

I honestly didn't understand why traveling is so stressful to me, but it's very much a dyslexic issue but they explained to me how I can turn this around and eventually be even better. We can teach are selves to plan it all out in are head before hand.

Like at boccie, I asked if I can always be the red ball, and what a huge improvement on the whole game, because I wasn't always trying to remember in my head , which color I was and getting anxious over , not wanting to mess up the game.

So I'm getting my tattoo next week, will see but they all say it really relieves stress. A lizard on my left wrist. That way I won't get anxious when someone says the door is on the left or right. I'll always no.

Hubby, what ever he has is a bit different, no sense of north/south. A bit of a speech impeadent, but writes perfectly.

It sounds like he is going to Ireland with me. So I gotta get this stuff down!

It's crazy but it's my world. 😊
(1)
Report
Anxietynacy,

Ooooh. 🤦‍♀️. I thought this January trip was the wedding. I remembered you posting about the wedding in Ireland a while back . You didn’t know if your DH was going to make the trip .

Anyway , at least you have friends on the cruise ship . Unlike New Orlean’s, how lost can your hubby get on the ship ? They have maps or you ask a crew member questions .

This trip will go better . I don’t blame you being nervous after losing your hubby in another city though .

My husband travels alot for work .
When we fly I just follow his lead . When the kids were young we were like ducklings behind him in the airport . DH walks fast . He would look back and tease us and say “ You’ve got to keep up !”

I did fly alone round trip once when my son lived in Wisconsin , he needed his tonsils taken out at like age 30. It wasn’t bad .
(1)
Report
Casole, excellent advice. Thank your counselor for me. I, too, tend to ‘catastrophize’ although I call it ‘awfulizing’. I shall, henceforth, try not to get stuck there without at least allowing a myself a moment to consider what things might be like if they actually work out well!
(1)
Report
Thanks casole, you are right! About not catastrophizing things. I'm really glad I've figured out the reason for my fear, because it just didn't make a lot of sense to me.

Going on a cruise, with friends actually, and they know all about my issue, we play boccie together, so they really know my scattered brain, and they know it won't be boreing with me along! 😂

This is pretty much a dry run because I have to pull myself together and go to Ireland in September for my son's wedding. I also have a son in Texas someday id like to visit.

Reddit friends has a great idea YouTube the airports, to figure out the layout better and to double check everything.

Last time I put the wrong birth date and TSA wouldnt let me through. Poor husband was on the other side of TSA looking panicie. I just had to go back to the desk and have them fix it, but the less mistakes, the better. 🤣 I put I was born in 1936 and not 1963.
(0)
Report
Like others have said I'm soooo proud of you for soldiering on and going despite the anxiety. It's no small feat and you have my admiration and respect.

My only words of advice would be (and I'm sure the redditors have more salient and practical advice for your dyslexia!) :

When you find yourself "catastrophizing" also ask yourself "what if it all works out?" to balance it (my counselor's advice to me).

Where are you going?

Your New Orleans adventures sound wild. Nothing like being on the open air street car in the heat! The charm must have quickly worn off, and how scary for you and your lost hubby at the start of your trip. You did get a funny story out of it though it wasn't funny at the time!
(2)
Report
I bet that was terrifying at the time!
That would make me so sick, having DH lost in a strange city. Because I just got an iPhone, I’m getting him an AirTag keychain for Christmas so I can keep track of him. He doesn’t wander (yet) but he also doesn’t carry his phone because he doesn’t remember how to use it. It’s an android anyway….an actual flip-phone! He does always carry his keys even though he doesn’t drive anymore.

Even with this history you're still going - I think that’s pretty cool and actually inspirational!
(3)
Report
Oh and we can't forget the fun 2 hour trolley ride, through the city , in 105 heat, because I got us on the wrong trolley. 🤗
(2)
Report
Peasuep, this is actually a rather funny story, in May we went to New Orleans, first time I ever flew.

My first mistake was I put the wrong birth date on my flight, hubby is on the other side of TSA, looking panic stickin because they wouldnt let me though. I got that cleared up

Then we get to New Orleans, heat that I've never felt before, had lunch, got pretty nauseous. So I went back to the hotel, to get outta the heat. Hubby said he will walk around a bit, and bring me back some water. Well I had his phone, he didn't remember the name of the hotel, or the road it is on, and all the buildings look the same. 3 hours of me thinking he was dead, he finally found the hotel.

I wouldnt let him out of my sight the rest of the trip, even accidentally followed him right into the men's room once. 😂

So it was quite the experience. 🤪. We are literally the blind leading the blind.
(1)
Report
Yes but he is special like me 🤪😂,if it wasn't for me he would never attempt it. So it's the blind leading the blind here.

Dyslexics on Reddit have giving me some great tips , so Im in a think I can, think I can mod now.
(2)
Report
Travel makes me nervous too but it’s more the logistics than anything. Research online helps but I still have to fake it ‘til I make it. I try to give myself plenty of time so if I do make a mistake I can get it straightened out without being under too much pressure. DH is going too, right? The buddy system is so helpful.

I’m just really impressed that you’re choosing to power through and do this in spite of your anxiety. I have no doubt you’re going to be glad, on so many levels, that you did.
(0)
Report
There is just so much new endless information for a dyslexic traveller, it makes sense to me now, why this is so hard for me. but I'm going to take it as, not letting my disability hold me back anymore. So I'm going to find a way to push though this.
(1)
Report
Thanks guys, way, and notgodenough, your right this is most likely something I have to get though and not get over. For now anyways.

Thanks for the answers, after educating myself and asking another forum, this is really more of a dyslexic issues, and not something that a typical learning person, can help with me a lot.

The dyslexic community gave me some good advice, to go on line and YouTube the airports and everything to accumulate myself better, so me or my most likely dyslexic husband doesn't get lost.

I didn't realize it is a very common dyslexic issue, but I'll take any advice and that may help.
(3)
Report
What I meant about you not being POA , is that you have no power whether you are home or not .

I think getting away will be good for you, like when I went to Hawaii I got to relax . There was nothing I could do about whatever happened at home , so to my surprise I let go of worrying about Mom
(0)
Report
If the flight itself is bothering you , ask your primary for an “ airplane pill “ something to relax you . I did this on a really long flight twice to Hawaii. The whole…,.there is no land for an emergency landing and your in the middle of the Pacific Ocean was scary .

I don’t sleep well the night before I fly , so I end up falling asleep on the airplane often now . I even plan a nap , makes time in flight pass by quicker .

I always take an Imodium once I get through security since I have had IBS for many years . Never had IBS in flight.

Think about that this trip is to your son’s wedding . I’m sure you would like to be there. I travel much better if it’s a trip I WANT to take .

As far as your Mom … You can’t worry about that . You aren’t even POA . Worrying about that isn’t helping you or her . I felt like that before I went to Hawaii . And going was the best thing for me , because I was so relaxed on the beach because I knew I was too far away to do anything for Mom . I had always wanted to go there and LOVED it so much , we went back 4 years later .

I also “ live life Afraid”, always have . Ramped up with Chronic anxiety and IBS . The two seemingly permanent gifts I have now since caregiving for my parents who are not even alive anymore .

But it helps to push through and just DO IT . I wouldn’t want to miss my kids wedding . That would be motivation for me .

You don’t have to “ get over it” . You just get through it . I really do understand . It took me YEARS , to where I am now and can fall asleep in flight . I used to be white knuckle all the way .
(1)
Report
I like funkygrandma's advice to "just do it afraid". I am quite anxious by personality and a bit anti social and claustrophobic. In all honesty I "do LIFE afraid" a whole lot, and have more or less got used to it. Afterward I am all "That wasn't bad at ALL".
For me, also, the more I admit what I feel to others the more I know they feel quite a lot more like me than I ever thought. So that helps me get through as well.

I always think of when I was an RN. We had small lockers and mine was always replete with my pharmacy of pepto, Imodium, tums, what have you. And for years I would watch a nurse named Sherrie who seemed to have it all together. Envied her a bit.
When I retired, because my locker was prized (high, instead of low) Sherrie asked for it and we went to change combo locks. She opens hers and lo and behold a whole ARRAY of home pharmaceutical for HER stomach. When I learned that she was inside feeling all those years just what I was feeling I learned the lesson. Just share what you feel with someone. I do think it does help.
(3)
Report
Traveling is stressful, traveling by air even more so - or at least I find it more stressful.

It's not a character flaw to feel anxiety over stressful situations.

I find making alternative plans - in case something goes awry - helps alleviate some of the stress. If nothing else, it makes me feel like I am more in control.

And you know what, even if you don't "get over it" - the travel anxiety, that is -as long as it's not ***keeping*** you from traveling, then you've won the main battle, so yay, you!
(2)
Report
Try taking half a Xanax or Valium......which is very helpful for anxiety in general when used once in awhile. I've taken half a Xanax before a head MRI and didn't even care about the loud noise involved or the cage over my face.

I think we ALL have anxiety over certain things in life, let's face it. I wish I could be 100% like Eckhart Tolle and never let anything bother me, ever. But sometimes things DO produce anxiety and that's nothing to be ashamed of or apologize for.

Good luck, you'll be fine!
(2)
Report
Anxiety, I truly didn't mean to offend you, and I'm sorry if I did. I was just referring to your forum name which obviously has some truth to it.
I'm glad that you've made progress in learning healthy ways to deal with your anxiety over the last many months but obviously you still have some work to do which is why you asked the question.
My point was that life is just too short to spend it worrying and not enjoying all it has to offer, as you will end up missing out on a whole lot.
So again...just do it afraid and find out what joys there are to be had despite your fear and anxiety.
(0)
Report
Ha. Medication. That's the answer. And a nifty looking incontinent wear pant.

Quite honestly I hate to fly and it comes of a lifetime of fear and anxiety built around IBS. For me it is
ALL ABOUT THE BATHROOMS.
I don't care if the bloody plane goes down; I care if I need the bathroom and there isn't one I can use.
On planes there aren't many.
AND they are always saying "Turbulence... stay in your seat with seat belts fastened". So what does it matter HOW many bathrooms there are?


Then it is the fact that one breast is still a breast and the other is a knitted knocker. I have given up on that one and pull it out and wave it at TSA agents as I go through the machine. Stops the "wand" searches and the "pat downs".

Then there is the fact that the cancel so many short flights which most of mine are, or delay them. Took me years to get a big girl phone, but once they took pay phones out I couldn't even notify my daughter, starting toward Seattle at about the time I took off, that I was delayed or cancelled. A problem when my bro was ill, too, but at least that made me get into the 21st century with a big girl phone eventually.

I don't know a way but eating light, taking 1/2 of a 5 mg valium and wearing some very sporty looking depends (never needed but a "comfort" in the unknown).
That's my recipe and will remain my recipe long as I choose to fly.
After N. pulled his fast one with the sudden stroke I am thinking not to leave alone again for the duration. 83 next year. Time I think. Or time to think.
(0)
Report
Sorry, I do find it a bit offensive, seeing how far I have came, from the person that , signed in ten months ago that was filled with anxiety.

Very sorry I asked.
(1)
Report
No offense Anxietynacy, but I think from your name you have more than just "travel anxiety" which is a shame. Life is too short to waste our time worrying about things that may or may not happen, as we seldom have any control of the what ifs.
And even the things that we think we have some control over often prove us wrong.
The saying "Let go and let God" is appropriate here.
Just letting go and going with the flow regardless of what happens and making the best of our circumstances is the healthiest choice we can make, and strengthens our trust in our Creator.
And you never know, there just may be some beautiful pearls of wisdom for you to glean from these seemingly stressful situations.
So my advice to you would be to just go ahead and do it afraid. And while you're at it, just enjoy the journey wherever it takes you, as you may just find yourself having fun.
(0)
Report

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter